When you hear the words 'risky behavior', your brain often brings up an image of a teenager. Why do you think that is so? Whenever we read news reports about accidents caused by teenage drunken driving, we ask ourselves, ’How can they be so stupid?’ The answer to both - the teenage brain. The teenage brain is programmed to take more risks, go for instant gratification and not think of long term consequences.
Why do they take these perceivably 'stupid' risks?
Between the ages of 12 to 24, the brain is undergoing a lot of changes. The prefrontal cortex, responsible for impulse control and decision-making, doesn't reach full maturity until around age 25. Hence, the ability to consider long-term consequences and exhibit impulse control is minimal. Additionally, the limbic system, which processes emotions, motivations, and rewards, is highly sensitive during adolescence. This sensitivity often leads to a tilt towards behaviors that offer immediate rewards and excitement.
Moreover, the dopamine system, known as the brain's reward system, is very sensitive during the adolescent years. This system is responsible for the sensation of pleasure when you do things you enjoy. Teenagers don’t just experience pleasure from such activities, they experience intense pleasure and are drawn to behaviors that provide instant gratification.
Why did I just take you through a semi-science lesson? Understanding the reasons for a teenager’s risk-taking behavior equips us to better address and navigate their actions.
Is risk really all that bad?
Not all risk-taking has negative consequences. We shouldn’t discourage teenagers from taking risks altogether because without trying out something new, and without exploring unfamiliar territory, life can be dull. However, our teenager needs to understand how to navigate around the negative risks. Often, it's in social settings where the possibility of 'social inclusion' motivates our teenagers to take negative risks—like accepting a ride from a drunk driver, drinking and driving themselves, engaging in unsafe sex, experimenting with drugs, or starting to smoke, drink. This is where our guidance as parents becomes crucial.
How can you keep your teenagers safe?
- Open Communication: I have seen many parents (including me) who get into a judging (even with just a facial expression) , problem-solving or this-is-a-teachable moment mode when our children come and talk to us. At this phase of their life, they don’t need us to do any of that! (problem solve when they explicitly ask you). To make teenagers feel comfortable discussing their thoughts, experiences and feelings, lay the foundation for a supportive and non-judgmental environment. That means, controlling our urge to scream, “Are you out of your mind?” And instead, quietly nodding and offering advice at the right time.
- Setting Clear Boundaries: While we don’t need to give them advise all the time, we still need to set clear boundaries. Communicate your expectations regarding adhering to laws, safety, behaviour and set clear consequences for what happens if they don’t adhere to it. Enforcing consistent boundaries and consequences for violating rules reinforces accountability and promotes responsible decision-making.
- Providing Education and Guidance: We all know that once they hit the age 14, they know 'everything'. Yet, keep offering information about the workings of the teenage brain, guidance on topics such as peer pressure (e.g., strategies for saying no to drugs or alcohol or accepting lifts from drunk drivers), substance abuse (e.g., recognizing signs of addiction), equips teenagers with the knowledge and skills to make informed choices. Do this in innocous places - during car rides, while watching television together, etc. Teach them to recognize risks, assess consequences and seek help when needed (who should they call in case of an emergency). This empowers them to navigate challenges responsibly.
- Teaching Coping Mechanisms: Teenagers sometimes resort to drugs, alcohol, or smoking as a way to cope with stress and pressure in their lives. By equipping teenagers with coping mechanisms, they can resist the social urge to 'drink away their troubles' or turn to other harmful habits. Practical strategies could include encouraging teens to journal their thoughts as a way to express and reflect on their feelings, or suggesting they start an anonymous blog to share and connect with others experiencing similar challenges. We, as parents, may not have all the answers, so don’t hesitate to set up an appointment with a trained psychologist.
Understanding the physical and psychological factors that contribute to teenage risk-taking behavior helps parents tailor their parenting behaviour according to this phase. The teenager is evolving into their own person and has moved on from following our instructions to wanting autonomy. We should be prepared to stand beside them (and not ahead of them) and gently nudge them towards better risk-taking behavior.